Should i take my ex to court over visitation to his daughter? please guys need some advice?

hi all, first thanks for reading this, i have a 3 year old daughter, i am also in a relationship, however not with my daughters biological dad. On my daughters 3rd birthday he sent a birthday card through the post, hoping to make contact, it has however been 3 years. He sounds pretty genuine about being in her life, and has asked to start seeing her as soon as possible. (monday) Im just wondering if you think im doing the right thing by letting him see her, he has no drug addictions, he also had another child who he sees on a regulare basis.


However most of my family are not keen on the situation and say it should go to court ? Do you think im doing the right thing by trying 2 sort this mess out by ourselfs than getting the courts involved?Should i take my ex to court over visitation to his daughter? please guys need some advice?
If you take away not only his right to his daughter but your daughter's right to her father you are ruining the chances of normality for your child. I was never allowed to see my father as a child and through my life lacked a true father figure to look up to, trust me, she needs this. If need be have it supervised with them the first time, invite him to lunch with you and your daughter. gives you time to talk with him as wellShould i take my ex to court over visitation to his daughter? please guys need some advice?
It's been three years. I would allow her to see him, but I would be cautious and make sure he wouldn't do something such as run off with her. I would encourage you to be there with them the entire time for the first visit, especially as he is a stranger to her.
It's silly to get the courts involved when you can come to an agreement on your own.





Good luck
i don't think there is anything wrong with going through courts to set out some rules. he wasn't there for the first three years so the arrangements should make you comfortable. i would suggest some supervised visits at First because your daughter won't know him... just take it slow and see what makes you and your daughter comfortable. personally im having a rough patch with my ex and visitation. im going to court to try and smooth things out and set some rules so no one steps on anyones toes because those are the rules. letting him be in your daughters life is the best thing for her, just make sure it doesn't stir up trouble and make things worse by setting out some rules and boundary's
The courts protect everyone involved. However, going to court can also make things ugly even if the intention is just to clarify what you guy already do in terms of visitation.





I don’t think you NEED to go to court. You should write something up between you two, document it properly, and submit it to the courts. That way nobody has to be dragged in and out of court, waiting on the proper information. You guys can do it yourselves (if you feel you can agree) and submit it to make it official. If you can’t agree, either attempt mediation (where you guys discuss needs/wants with a third party) and then write up the parenting plan and submit that to be official/legal. And if you can’t agree with a third party, and it gets ugly, then yes, it has to go to court.





We came to an agreement outside of court, in mediation. It took 3 attempts, but we agreed eventually. It worked out well, kept “costs” low to what could have been very expensive, and we’re all semi-happy. LOL.





That’s just my take on it. Either way you go about it, you’re still documenting and making it official in a legal sense. I just know from SO MANY PEOPLE that court usually turns ugly. I can’t really think of an instance where it was positive.





Good luck in whatever you decide. And that’s what YOU decide – not your family!
Hi - you can but give it a go - but I think the first visitation needs to be on your terms with you present - at no time should he be on his own with your daughter until she gets to know him better and until you know that you can trust him fully.





If it doesn't work out then take it to the courts but I would for the sake of your daughter knowing her father give it a go first - If Monday isn't suitable for you then make it the first date suitable for both of you and don't be pushed into it otherwise. He has a lot of making up to do to!





Good luck hope it all works out!





P x
i suggest yes, you never know because down the road situation may arise where he'll want to take her out of town or set a day where you may make arrangements with him, then decide not to allow him to see her for your benefits. court fees might come out, but believe me, in the long run, those fees will seem nothing to you once the arrangements have been met. if you feel like you mentioned, that your girl is in no danger with him, then you may also ';add-on'; future visitation rights. for example, when i went to the attorney generals office to set up an appointment, we added on the reg. court orders that i would be able and allow to see-visit-obtain guardship to my son ANY and WHATEVER day i wish (pending my ex-wifes approval) that means that i wouldnt have to wait for every-other weekend, holidays, and summer hours in order for me to see him. all i had to do was call my ex and make arrangements. believe me, the judge loved that idea, he immdedialy approved it. i strongly suggest that you do set up a visitation log and arrangements with the state. good luck with this idea. (F.Y.I. these arrangements were made in the state of Texas)