Relationships experts, guys, women?? Any advice.. always helps ;-)?

Ok look, this question here i need here is a serious heart to heart , i wrote it a fews time and got a few answers but some were just ignorant, dumb or heartless. I need some good advice, to motivate me to become better, or what to do as far as my issue.


Im a very independent, once was strong , live alone 23 years old, grad college, own car, etc. I dont need a mans money , u all know where im going with this.


Any how ive was dating a guy for 3 years, He made me quitmy modeling, friends, ruined all my stuff I worked hard for, yet we both were in love and as all couples had our good days. After our last big burst i moved into a new apt, wanting a new start, signed up for school again just to keep me busy and I wounde up letting him back in the new apt this June. Things got really out of hand and physical as always, and he wasnt working, always in the house id come home from work he'd be leaving or playing video games. Well the last fight we had in June the cops came, i called them because he broke my new stuff and it really pissed me off. We havent seen each other much after court, i dismissed all charges and he got off scott free, I feel like i really crossed him by calling the police but i was so fed up. Its been 4 months now and he hates me. He has called me maybe 4 x over the summer for sex , thats it and every once in a blue drunk. I miss him though, i wanna work this out. I now can focus in school, my new apt looks like **** again, im sad , lonely and ive tried everything. Books, meditations, yoga, therapy, freinds.etc... The only thing i havent tried is moving on and meetin new men, I dont want a new man touching me or getting to know me. I truly love my ex and miss he, i know he feels like he can never trust me again with the cops but i would never do that again it just was a crazy moment. Was i wrong? I have taken him back so many times. He has bitten me where ive had to have surgey, ruined my stuff.. etc., I forgave him for worse.. I need advice. I know this isnt heathly, I cant stop texing and calling him for 4 weeks now, no answer..what to do??Relationships experts, guys, women?? Any advice.. always helps ;-)?
Girl, you need therapy.





This man brings absolutely nothing to the table, and he is violent and abusive.





Want to know why he won't return your calls? Because he wants a woman who will let him abuse them quietly, without calling the police. You no longer serve that purpose.





Want to know why you still want him? Because you are accustomed to dysfunctional relationships, and we all seek out what the familiar, no matter how bad that might be. You have self esteem issues, so you don't allow yourself to have anything good. You are seeking out self punishment in the form of this a$$hole.





The answer here is NOT how to get this loser back, but how to get YOU back. You need to learn how to love and value yourself enough to know that you deserve better, and to demand better, and not to put up with this kind of behavior, much less seek it out.





I know that this is obviously not what you wanted to hear, but it is the only solution that will eventually lead to any real happiness for you.





Best of luck to you, and I genuinely hope that the turd doesn't EVER answer your texts. One day, hopefully, you will look back and be thankful that he didn't, as your judgment is clouded right now, and he is inadvertently saving you from yourself.Relationships experts, guys, women?? Any advice.. always helps ;-)?
if you love him be with him ...although u have no reason to be with him but some people likes violent relatioship and i think you are one of them gl
There is no reason for his behavior. If I were you I would tell him that either A) he needs anger management classes or B) your gone. I had a friend who was in an abusive relationship and nobody knew about it. He slowly isolated her from all her friends and her family. One day me and 2 of my other friends ran into them somewhere and they invited us over to there house on New Years Eve to have a few drinks and bring in the New Year. Well, about 11:30 she said something that completely set him off. He picked her up and flung her across the room. One of my male friends that was there tried to restrain him til the cops came but it didn't work. He ended up going after one of my friends who was 2 months PREGNANT but luckily didn't get to her cause the cops showed up. It was the scariest night of my life.





In my honest opinion, you need to dump him your only endangering yourself. What if you end up pregnant by him? Your also bringing another life into this. Another life that will have a dead beat dad. You need to find someone that has there stuff together just like you do. Someone who treats you good. I hope I helped.








Answer mine? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmKHGuWh9FfdYQyIYbspA.Dsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090914102607AAdXxfY
';...and got a few answers but some were just ignorant, dumb or heartless'





OK - I will try to be as polite as I can here.





WHY do you keep doing the same crap and keep expecting a different result?


He has already shown you plenty of times EXACTLY what a loser he is. Your choice is:


A.) to accept the loser, as a loser, and be in a relationship with a loser.


or


B.) Do whatever it takes to occupy yourself and your mind with other things and other people to help you MOVE ON.
Are you serious?


Have you read your question?


You arent as independent as you think you are then.


You are needy.


If you cant see what this man is.. that he doesnt even love you... then not only are you needy you are self destructive and should seek help immediately.


Do you love yourself any at all?


Respect yourself.


You think you are rising but you are still clinging to a ghetto mentallity where the cops bnecome your most frequent visitors.


Do you not deserve a man who loves and respects you?


Do you?


Then work on it.


Shed the baggage.


Its not love you are feeling. You are in love with love not him.