Did I mess up? Guys need actual advice, no mean posts please!?

I asked my boyfriend of almost 2 months out on a date....he doesn't have alot of money, he has 2 daughters and Christmas coming up....I offered to pay for our date. Did I mess up? He hasn't called or texted since I asked him. I am not trying to make him feel like he is less of a man because I can afford to pay for dinner and he can't. I just want to do something nice for him and treat him to dinner and have some quality time with him without our children! What should I do? I'm confused!Did I mess up? Guys need actual advice, no mean posts please!?
you are a very special person to think of something for youre


boyfriend! what a nice gesture... I cant think of any reason


why he would not go and have some quality time with you.Did I mess up? Guys need actual advice, no mean posts please!?
It's very possible that you might have offended him with the offer. Men tend to connect financial status with their masculinity. Many men would find it humiliating to have their girlfriend pay for their date, especially since you've only been dating for two months and he's probably still in the early stage where he's trying to impress you. I would try calling him or getting in touch with him directly and find out if, indeed, he was upset by the offer. If so, try to explain to him that you didn't mean to hurt or belittle him, and that you were just trying to do something nice for him. Try to make him understand you had good intentions, and that you don't think less of him for his financial situation.
You're awesome. Do you have any sisters. ;) No really that is very nice and I can tell from your email that 'Quality time' is likely what is most important to you in your relationships.


That said, the poor guy probably feels somewhat disrespected but that is pretty much his bug. He has to take ownership for the way he feels and take action to resolve it. I understand your sweet intentions, however, you have overstepped just a little.


As a general rule for married or dating: Don't give a man more than he gives you. Otherwise problems like this occur.
It's a hard situation. As men we see ourselves as the providers. Its hard for us to accept help in general and particularly not from the woman we are dating.





Call him and tell him you want to have dinner in if he doesn't want to go out and that you did not mean to put him on the spot like that.






he shouldnt have been offended by this


and if he is, he is too sensitive





what you did was the mature, and very nice thing to do





leave it a day or two and if he doesnt reply


show up, with a small picnic


tell him all you wanted was a bit of alone time


that will soften his heart!





good luck
No, and if it's a macho man thing, you could always give him the money before hand, so he feels like he's paying. My bf is the exact same way. Just tell him your sorry if you hurt him, but you want to do something nice for him.
No, you didn't mess up. You are being caring and understanding. If he is not talking to you for that reason, he is being much too sensitive. It's not your problem.
I think what you did was wonderful, beautiful thing and he should appreciate what you did.
THE MAN WANT TO FELL LIKE HE THE MAN WHEN THE GIRL GOT MORE MONEY THEY FEEL BAD



ask him again. don't bring up the paying until the check arrives.
You didn't do anything wrong Girl that's actually nice.. he hasn't called you in so long because he probably is just feelin less of a man and is scared,...... but i kno he still diiggiin u
just tell him what you told us. under the circumstances i don't see where you did anything wrong.
Sweetie, he more than likely is a little upset about you asking him to go out considering you know his circumstances. However instead of waiting for him to text you or call you, you need to pick up that phone and call your man. Listen you have to put him back in his comfort zone. Just explain to him that you love him and you want to do things for him just as he would for you. Tell him that right now you know he can't buy you the world and that doesn't bother you. You know that he's doing his best and that's all you ask. If he's old fashion then he's not going to go for it but he needs to explain that to you. Let him know that you want to treat him to day because you do appreciate all that he does for you and the children. Advise him that you're not trying to degrade him, you want to reward him. Explain it starts with dinner and movie for two and will end with desert at home (if you get the hint). While out with him go shopping for something at Victoria's and end your night off right. However you have to let him know that you don't think there's anything wrong with a female treating her man special or like the king that he is to her. If he doesn't go for that then ask him if he'd like a night at home alone for two. Find a baby sitter, a place that will cater for two and still end it with a special desert.